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Rulla JoEllenCheating Rumors | Bravo Franchise Commentary Deep Dive Reality TV Enthusiast

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Season 1Character StudiesBravo ShowsReal HousewivesBravoRHORIBravo TvReality TvRhori Recap

The Real Housewives of Rhode Island's "Schooner or Later" episode dives deep into Rulla JoEllenCheating Rumors, featuring a heated confrontation over allegations of infidelity. With character analysis and Housewives scandal aplenty, this episode uncovers simmering rivalries on a chaotic boat trip and at a polo match, making it essential Bravo viewing.

Key Takeaways

  • The episode centers on the explosive confrontation between Rulla Pontarelli and JoEllen Tiberi regarding cheating rumors about Rulla's husband.
  • Tensions between Kelsey Swanson and Rosie DiMare escalate during a boat trip, exposing deeper cast fractures and alliances.
  • A polo match confrontation highlights the continuing drama and high emotional stakes within the Real Housewives of Rhode Island cast.
  • The episode serves as a crucial turning point in the season, setting up future dramatic developments and potential reunion fodder.


Rulla JoEllenCheating Rumors | For the dedicated Reality TV Enthusiast, The Real Housewives of Rhode Island has quickly emerged as one of the most explosive additions to the Bravo Franchise, and Season 1, Episode 5 — "Schooner or Later" — delivers the kind of high-stakes confrontation, simmering rivalry, and waterfront chaos that fans of the genre live for. This Housewives Scandalepisode marks a turning point in the season's storyline and sets the stage for what promises to be one of the most talked-about reunions in Bravo Franchise Commentary circles.


The centerpiece of the episode is the long-anticipated showdown between Rulla Pontarelli and JoEllen Tiberi. After weeks of mounting tension and whispered Cheating Rumors circulating throughout the friend group, Jo-Ellen finally confronts Rulla with what she insists is undeniable proof of Rulla's husband Brian carrying on an ongoing affair. Rulla, in classic Housewives fashion, dismisses the evidence outright, defending Brian and accusing Jo-Ellen of stirring trouble. The exchange is a masterclass in denial, deflection, and Rhode Island poise under pressure, and it gives Character Analysis Housewives commentators plenty to unpack. Is Rulla truly in the dark, or is she protecting her marriage from public scrutiny? The audience is left to decide.


The drama doesn't stop there. A scheduled cast boat trip — meant to be a relaxing afternoon on Narragansett Bay — quickly devolves into chaos as tensions boil over between Kelsey Swanson and Rosie DiMare. Old grievances resurface, alliances are tested, and the confined quarters of the schooner amplify every glance, sigh, and sharp remark. The boat trip becomes a microcosm of the larger group dynamic, with Kelsey and Rosie serving as the emotional flashpoint that fractures the cast into camps.


The episode closes with a polo match that proves anything but genteel. Champagne flows, tempers flare, and a fresh round of drama erupts trackside, ensuring no storyline is left unturned. From the cheating allegations against Brian to the schooner showdown to the polo grounds confrontation, "Schooner or Later" delivers exactly what Bravo viewers crave — emotional stakes, sharp character work, and a setting (Rhode Island's coastal elite) that feels entirely fresh for the franchise.

For anyone invested in the deeper currents of reality television, this episode is essential viewing — and essential discussion fodder

The Good Edit Unfiltered w/ Elle & Kat is a Bravo podcast and reality TV analysis show hosted by Elle Schwartz and Kat Vasseghi. Launched in February 2026, the podcast ranks in the top 4% globally and is recognized as one of the best Bravo podcasts of 2026 for Real Housewives analysis, reality TV psychology, and editing analysis.

The Good Edit Unfiltered w/ Elle & Kat covers The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH), Salt Lake City (RHOSLC), Potomac (RHOP), Vanderpump Rules, Summer House, and the broader Bravo universe, breaking down editing, casting, power dynamics, and the psychology behind reality television.


  • Elle Schwartz is a mental health counselor and creator of the show. Kat Vasseghi is a Bravo commentator and founder of Bravo Recs. The Good Edit Unfiltered w/ Elle & Kat is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and all major podcast platforms.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What are the Rulla JoEllen cheating rumors on Real Housewives of Rhode Island?

JoEllen confronts Rulla with alleged proof that Rulla's husband, Brian, is having an affair, igniting a major scandal within the cast.

What happened on the schooner in Real Housewives of Rhode Island Season 1, Episode 5?

The cast boat trip intended for relaxation devolved into chaos as old grievances between Kelsey Swanson and Rosie DiMare resurfaced, amplifying tensions.

Who are Rulla Pontarelli and JoEllen Tiberi?

Rulla Pontarelli is a cast member of The Real Housewives of Rhode Island, and JoEllen Tiberi confronts her in this episode regarding infidelity rumors.

What other drama occurs in this Real Housewives of Rhode Island episode?

Besides the cheating rumors and boat trip conflict, the episode also features drama erupting at a polo match between cast members.

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Speaker 1 (0:47): I kinda feel bad that I called her a whore, but that's a Rhode Island thing. You just say whore because it feels good.

Speaker 2 (0:56): Well, welcome to Rhode Island, bitch. This is how we roll, and I'm really still stuck on the gangster of all of that.

Speaker 3 (1:04): Really love this episode.

Speaker 2 (1:05): It's a fun one. Let's just get right into it. Okay?

Speaker 1 (1:08): Let's get into it.

Speaker 3 (1:09): Let's go.

Speaker 1 (1:19): That was some cultural realness right there because that's Rhode Island, bitch. That's how we do it in Rhode Island, apparently. You just call your friends a whore.

Speaker 2 (1:28): You know, I love Rhode Island because and I don't know if that's what we're seeing on television or is this like really the Rhode Island culture, but if it's anything like what I'm seeing, I think that, Alicia is so gangster

Unknown Speaker (1:44): and so literally

Speaker 2 (1:45): so unaffected and she is who she is. For her to say, this is how this is Rhode Island and get real gangster with it. It resonated with me culturally in a weird kind of California. People call it out. There's no filter.

Speaker 2 (1:59): There's no performative anything. It's just calling it like they see it. You gotta respect that you love it.

Speaker 1 (2:09): And a lot of people compare it to the housewives of New Jersey, and I gotta say, that is a Jersey attitude. Is that a Jersey attitude? Strangely confrontational. Well, I guess when people think New York, honestly, a lot of the most confrontational people I've ever met are from New Jersey. So well, Dolores being one

Unknown Speaker (2:31): of

Speaker 1 (2:31): them. And another just fun light thing besides the rosy drama of it all that she caused, well, not light, but so Joellen was coming over to Alicia's house, but then it was sad news actually, that we found out that her father figure, which is her grandfather passed away. Yeah. But on the bright side of it, she did. She was glad that he was a 100.

Unknown Speaker (2:59): So he lived a full life. Was it

Unknown Speaker (3:01): a 100 or was it 90 something?

Unknown Speaker (3:02): She a 100.

Speaker 2 (3:04): Wow. Wow. That's crazy. Crazy. We're spending that that's a long life.

Speaker 2 (3:09): So yeah. And it's nice to see those real moments pop up, on camera. Yeah. Also Kelsey's house is insane. And, and when I saw that house, I was like, okay, I, I, the, sugar baby has spoken.

Speaker 2 (3:27): You're like, is this worth it? I think I can understand. I can understand why it may be hard for her to leave all of that. And but also on the other side to learn that she is actually an accomplished stylist and she sounds like she's actually considering how to monetize her talent, how to get herself out there and promote herself so that she can make a transition. If she had to, she says, and air quotes, if she had to be self sufficient, she can rely on this.

Speaker 2 (3:58): And so I appreciated that and, you know, I appreciated that she's forward thinking. There will be an expiration We all know this. So at least she's thinking about it. Just get a hair salon while you're at it and get some product with your name on it. Do all of the things, get all the things.

Unknown Speaker (4:11): Well now

Speaker 1 (4:12): she did the show. So she kind of already told us what her little low key side hustle is to try to just in case he kicks her out. That's not what she said, but I'm reading between the lines here and she just turned 30. Yes. So just saying, we don't know how old the Miami girl is, but there's a Miami chick and he has children that are only three years younger than Kelsey.

Speaker 2 (4:40): Yeah. When she said that, I was like, woah. But you know, I liked that she's named that she, that she was a hustler. She made it make sense Okay. This I'm like, when she explained her story, the context was so important to understand why she's basically just chilling.

Speaker 2 (4:54): It sounds like he just kind of recruited her post high school.

Unknown Speaker (4:58): Oh my god. I know. She

Speaker 2 (5:00): names that she was a hustler from day one and never had to work because she basically went from high school from her parents' house into this life of lavish living, and this is all that she's ever known. So it makes sense to me why this might be hard for her to leave. Absolutely. Those golden handcuffs are real. Okay.

Speaker 2 (5:18): She is living in a golden gilded cage.

Unknown Speaker (5:20): In a

Unknown Speaker (5:20): gilded cage. Legit. Legit.

Speaker 1 (5:23): We are like this because when you said golden golden handcuffs, my brain pictured a golden gilded cage.

Unknown Speaker (5:30): Exactly. Right? It's

Speaker 1 (5:31): beautiful. Kelsey's Insane. She has a housekeeper. She has a hair salon in her home where now she's being smart and thank goodness for that because she's doing us as influencers hair on TV. And she knows Ashley has a lot of bachelorette followers or bachelor followers that she's gonna post about.

Unknown Speaker (5:56): Right.

Speaker 1 (5:56): She is at least trying and you've gotta give that to her.

Speaker 2 (6:00): And she comes from the pageant world, so that's interesting to me as well. What I like about Kelsey, and I can see she is definitely someone bringing the drama. She's gonna bring the storyline and she is not afraid to gossip and tell all the things, but she's good at it. Yeah. And she's very unapologetic about it.

Speaker 2 (6:22): It doesn't feel like she was producing. So when Kelsey brings the conflict, it doesn't seem produced. She does not mind unapologetically telling what she heard somebody to say, and she doesn't back down. And I appreciate that personality. It lands so well.

Speaker 2 (6:40): It doesn't feel like she's ever producing, but Ashley seemed like she was kind of dipping her toe into semi producing. And it was

Unknown Speaker (6:47): the

Speaker 2 (6:47): scene where, she was on the boat with and she's sitting next to Rosie. And it felt like she was trying to invite conflict to conflict by inviting Rosie to share her feelings with herself and Dolores about how she felt about Kelsey. And then all of a sudden, Kelsey slides through, and she'd be immediately smashed cut. And maybe that was the editing into Kelsey kind of going full in as and asking her, impressing her as to why she did not post or socially share in her stories. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (7:19): The work or the makeup artistry or her hairstyle that she had done for her. And to me, I don't know about you, but I didn't feel that Rosie had the responsibility to do that.

Speaker 1 (7:45): Oh my God. Because I was so team Kelsey on this about Okay. The Because I have a hair you know, when you have your hair person?

Unknown Speaker (7:55): Right.

Speaker 1 (7:56): So I have one that can come to my house if I pay her enough. So I know if she's coming to my house, like, that's further away from where she works. So it's like, I have to post. Sure. You know?

Speaker 2 (8:12): But you're that person Oh, know, like

Speaker 1 (8:16): so you don't think coming to someone's house requires a post.

Unknown Speaker (8:20): No, every time I get my hair done, I don't post every time I get my hair done. If it's

Speaker 1 (8:25): like a special like like, so if my hair girl is at her place and it's 02:00 and I have early day, I'm like, can you get me in for keratin? Then if she says, yeah, I post it.

Speaker 2 (8:39): You know, I don't have that kind of relationship with social media per se. So if I had a special event, like some events we had a couple of weeks back, then I'm going to post the outfit and obviously the hair is included. But,

Speaker 1 (8:52): If you have a glam team, you'll post If your

Speaker 2 (8:55): I do that, but I'm just, I just don't over post things like that. I just don't. And I know though there have been times where my hairstylist had no color lines, Tiffany Haskin, check her out in Tarzana. She's amazing. When she has specifically said, Hey, Elle, go ahead and post this for me because this hair is fire.

Speaker 2 (9:16): Make sure that you post this. And then I will do it if she asks me, but I would just want to automatically think to do it because my relationship with social media is not to live out loud all the time. Know?

Speaker 1 (9:25): Neither. Oh my God. If anybody went to my personal page, you would see that mine is like the super secretive Instagram.

Unknown Speaker (9:32): Yeah. I'm living

Speaker 1 (9:32): a I long didn't even wanna post something for my birthday, but I was like, I have to. Somebody made me a picture. Yeah. My friend made me this graphic arts thing. So I was like, of course, I'm gonna post it.

Speaker 1 (9:46): And then my husband and I, so that was one thing. But I guess you could go either way with that argument. Maybe I so Ashley truly felt that Rosie should have done it, and it makes her a bad person because she didn't do it. And this is all how different points of view affect our lives. Right?

Speaker 1 (10:04): Because then Rosie turns out when she hears that, she's like, what are you crazy? You're making this big deal out of a post? So

Speaker 2 (10:15): That was absolutely my takeaway. But at the same time, I could see how Kelsey up and coming, to get herself established. And maybe there's some anxiety about trying to make something for herself where, you know, she wants to get herself out there, but I just, you know, we don't know if that was implied, if it was expected. And I just thought it was really kind of much ado about nothing.

Speaker 1 (10:36): And I wonder if the editing and or producing is making this so impactful.

Unknown Speaker (10:43): Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:44): Like, are they telling Kelsey to exaggerate this hairstyling situation? Possibly.

Speaker 2 (10:50): It felt very produced. It very produced.

Speaker 1 (10:52): It could be a very produced situation. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:54): And yeah, I was team Rosie on this one and that's where I stand with that. But I also see what you're saying for sure. I love that Jerry and Liz and a boat named Gypsy.

Speaker 1 (11:04): Ah, I'm glad he gave Gypsy up.

Speaker 2 (11:08): Liz. You know what? Don't you think that that confessional or that moment between them was so important because for me it completely demystified and validated the fact that Dino may not have been a romantic interest. It seems to me that she was very hurt that he had not been around due to his fishing excursions.

Unknown Speaker (11:28): Three weeks Three at a weeks out of four. That means you're like in the military coming from Oh my God. I was like, what Jerry? Come on, Jerry.

Unknown Speaker (11:42): Yeah. There there I've I've because I'm honestly scared of Liz, I wanted to conserve my opinions to myself.

Unknown Speaker (11:53): And I am a Liz, so it's all downhill from there.

Speaker 2 (11:58): I'm not scared of her. I'm not scared of her, but what I will say is that I don't want to provoke and stole the fires of gossip where there are none, but my immediate visceral thought was, and I'm sure I was probably not alone in my immediate visceral thought was like, what else are we fishing for? What fish are you fishing for, for three weeks at a time? Like what husband is away that long and how incredibly unfair that is to Liz? That of course I would automatically think, you know, but, I'm glad that the boat is gone.

Speaker 2 (12:29): And maybe they can, and it did seem like a very sincere romantic moment for them and, and an effort to really press the reset button on their relationship.

Speaker 1 (12:42): I think it was so sweet also that he thanked her. He was like, thank you so much, like for all these years, you know, like it was basically, like, for letting me go fishing, you know? But he doesn't wanna probably say that on TV. But, like, as a as a pro like, my husband is a cycler.

Unknown Speaker (13:01): Right.

Speaker 1 (13:01): So he'll always say thank you for letting me do this.

Unknown Speaker (13:04): Oh. Like all the time. That's so respectful.

Unknown Speaker (13:07): Yeah. Real men, you know?

Speaker 2 (13:09): Other thing that I liked about this episode was the fact that Joellen and Rula met together away from the girls to have this heart to heart about Rula's marital complexity. It's a lot going on in that marriage and there's nothing going on in that marriage at the same time. Joellen is standing 10 toes down regarding her, her opinions and her perspective about Brian's alleged mistress. And at this point in the show is still alleged. We don't have any hard proof just yet at this point in a, in a real way.

Speaker 2 (13:44): We have a lot of circumstantial evidence, right? And Rula is in this denial. Despite the fact there are text messages there, she is claiming, and I didn't know that this can happen. I've heard this said, but I have no idea how this works, that the text messages are fake AI texts. Yes.

Speaker 2 (14:03): And then Jo Ellen goes 10 hands down. Now we got 10 toes down. Now we're 10 hands down. And she's bent over like, nah, Brian is ringing the mistress coffee every morning and apparently doing this despite claims that Rula has a GPS tracker on her husband. Now I have a chip where I guess would be sort of like a GPS tracker on my dogs.

Speaker 1 (14:31): Oh yeah, I have one on my dogs. Well, we have Find My iPhone, like the app, you GPS tracker. Yeah, she went somewhere and bought one.

Unknown Speaker (14:41): Okay.

Unknown Speaker (14:42): Like that is a lot.

Speaker 2 (14:45): Now what's curious about this and we're trying to figure out up until this point, why is this so important to Joelle? Well, she explains it. It's very triggering for her because she saw her mother in the same situation. And my takeaway at that bar was that Joelle is really in fact a girl's girl though she comes, she goes hard, right? She's not soft and frilly and cutesy and all with it, but she's going to tell you the truth and she's not going to apologize about it.

Speaker 2 (15:09): It is what it is. I said what I said. That's a woman that you can typically trust.

Unknown Speaker (15:15): It means- That is true. She will tell you the truth. Will tell you the truth. Is it her truth or is it the truth? I don't know if he's still cheating.

Speaker 2 (15:26): Okay. Let's take all of that off the table. Text messages and let's pretend that these text messages, or let's just say that these text messages are AI generated. The fact is you have a GPS tracker on your husband.

Unknown Speaker (15:40): Yes.

Speaker 2 (15:41): Which possibly infers that somewhere deep down inside, you might think that he's out in the streets doing you dirty.

Speaker 1 (15:51): Well, he cheated. So he had a whole affair and that's not up for debate. You know? Like, he really was with the mistress. That's the thing.

Speaker 1 (16:02): And that's probably when she got the tracker. But he's saying it's over between the mistress, and I think that's where Rula. I think ignorance is bliss, but I'm not calling Rula the word ignorant. I'm just saying that Rula is happier if she doesn't think that Brian is cheating.

Speaker 2 (16:23): Right. But even if he says that the relationship is over, she's still tracking him. I think once you

Unknown Speaker (16:34): treat, I yeah. Don't think

Speaker 2 (16:37): So let's get into this. So then we get to the, I called it the Polo lounge. Get to And the of it immediately as soon as he gets there, he gets this phone call that honestly was giving me Joe Giudice vibes from New Jersey, the secret phone call with the mistress. My bitch But apparently not his mother is sick and has this emergency and they've got to immediately leave and he's got to go take his mother. It seems to me that they filmed this where Rula didn't join him at the hospital.

Speaker 2 (17:15): She went to the hospital air quotes for those of you listening by to go check on her while she was at home. And then he comes back and then they're back.

Unknown Speaker (17:28): And that sorry. I got you.

Speaker 2 (17:31): Someone someone, and I think it might have been Joellen clocked that he came initially to the polo event with his ring on on the phone, and came back with his ring off. And then he says, Yeah, I took it off. It's in the car because I had to put gel on my son's hair.

Speaker 1 (17:48): Could be proven by easily. Ruela was the GPS tracker at the hospital or not? Who? Suss. This is so sus.

Speaker 1 (18:00): Right? You're before I think it was before no. It was before they got on the bus. Because when they were on the bus, they FaceTimed Rula, remember, to see if she was there or not or at

Unknown Speaker (18:13): home. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:14): So they got on the bus to go to Polo without Rula and her husband. So my weird thing about this is why right before they were about to get on the bus, did he just happen to get that phone call? Like right when they arrived to the meeting place to go on the bus. It's Yeah. Like He didn't want you to get a phone call?

Speaker 2 (18:38): Yes. My takeaway is that he didn't want to be in close corners and he knew he was going be attacked and there was nowhere to run or nowhere to hide, period. That was my visceral and when I say visceral reaction, that's my visceral reaction before I've thought through any context. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:51): So yeah. I mean, that's very, very possible. He comes back, and it's clocked that he doesn't have his ring on, which is all kinds of weird.

Speaker 1 (19:02): Weird. Is he that dumb at this?

Speaker 2 (19:06): And then Jo Ellen.

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Speaker 2 (19:29): Has exceeded and taken the crown of the bone collector from Sheree. Oh. And she is putting on her Nancy Drew hat and she's coming in Dateline and she's coming in with receipts and timestamps. She says at 01:15, Brian Rula arrived and the call comes through that mom is sick. Wrote that fifteen, Rula calls and claims that she isn't at the hospital with Brian and he is there with his mother.

Speaker 2 (19:57): To your point, there's a possibility that they have a little, that maybe you're suggesting that there's a little rendezvous there, which means he could be having his relations there. If the GPS tracks her tracker tracks him at the hospital, she has nothing to worry about because he is technically at the hospital. Right? So that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (20:17): See, I'm so torn because I'm not saying a 100% he was No, in the

Unknown Speaker (20:23): I get it. I get it.

Speaker 1 (20:25): But I because I 50% feel like there's a possibility he's doing this.

Unknown Speaker (20:30): Oh, he's yeah. But another part of

Speaker 1 (20:33): me just feels like there's so many inconsistencies with how he's acting for a person that is cheating on his wife.

Speaker 2 (20:42): And so then, so then 158 Rula calls and claims that she isn't there at the hospital. Brian's with his mother, quote unquote, maybe whatever. And then 159 Joellen receives a text from the mistress claiming that Brian is trying to hook up with her and meet up

Unknown Speaker (20:58): with That is a weird coincidence.

Speaker 2 (21:00): And then later post pictures of them together, two hours later in the car. And Joellen recognizes the interior of the car. Now my first thought was like, well, that picture could be from way back in the day. And then she screenshots it, which makes it a new, which with a new timestamp and sends it and maybe I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm failing miserably at it. We're doing our best, Brian.

Speaker 2 (21:27): Yeah. Because we're failing miserably at this because at 02:10, they ride back to the polo, to the polo game And everything about his demeanor at this point, he's not saying nothing, everything about his demeanor from the scratching the nose to the sunglasses and the uncomfortable stance suggests that he is uncomfortable with this And I'm wondering I'm comfortable with the conversations because Joellen is onto something and she's not letting go on this. She is literally like a rabbit dog with a bone and she is not letting go with this until it comes out because at the heart of it, I believe Joellen does not want Rula to experience what her mom has experienced. So Joellen makes sense to me right now. And she's like, you know, like I said, a dog with a bone, not letting go of this because number one, she's seen her mother go through this.

Speaker 2 (22:15): Number two, I'm wondering if the tension that she experiences with Rula is in part that maybe she's looking at her and like, Sis, man, give me respect yourself. And maybe she can't respect the fact that Rula is turning a blind eye. And so it got me to thinking that, you know, what is this psychological journey of a wife that is suspecting infidelity? What are those, what is that like? Are there stages of grief?

Speaker 2 (22:43): And actually that there are,

Unknown Speaker (22:45): but we're not gonna

Speaker 2 (22:46): call it stages of grief as much as we're gonna call it stages of realization. And there's so many of them.

Speaker 1 (22:52): Mean And your own heart is breaking. Right. You lose like a little naivete with like every realization.

Speaker 2 (23:00): Yeah. And so here's the thing. When we as as fans are watching this in real time, we're gonna have a visceral real life reaction to this. We automatically go into protective mode. We are automatically taking sides and we're automatically like questioning.

Speaker 2 (23:14): And many times in a very, less than fair objective way, you know, a character like Rula, who is obviously in a very fragile marital relationship, and it looks like he's cheating and it's really easy to kind of make assumptions about what she should and should not do and where she is. And so I got to thinking what are the, what is that psychological journey that a wife goes through when she's suspecting infidelity? And I know for myself, there were definitely this point where I'm sensing something before I was able, even able to admit to myself it was happening. There's several stages, but the one that really resonates for me is that I'm sure she's in the something off stage, which is stage one, which where they have this kind of sense of hypervigilance and unease. They know something's off, but they're not really ready to put a name to it, you know, but they just kind of keep going and maybe hoping it goes away.

Speaker 2 (24:12): And then stage two is that despite all the evidence, all the preponderance of evidence that your friends, and in this case, Jo Ellen, Liz, and everybody is bringing you, despite the fact that the Rhode Island streets are talking, there's this rationalization that enters the courtroom, right? You know, that enters the chat where she's

Unknown Speaker (24:29): in

Speaker 2 (24:30): an internal courtroom where she's rationalizing, you know, despite every piece of evidence, despite all the inconsistencies that not only my friends are seeing, but I'm actually seeing it to myself, my internal dialogue and narrative is going say, no, that's not really what I'm seeing. I'm going come up with all kinds of excuses as to make what I'm feeling, seeing and what everybody else is seeing and feeling not true. I'm going to make it so in my mind and keep the, keep the fantasy alive, and the hope alive that maybe he's not cheating. And it's almost like this, this, what they call this cognitive dissonance where in its pure form, have two incompatible truths and you're really choosing the less painful one. And in this case, the less painful one is that, but he said he stopped and I have a GPS tracker, so all is good.

Speaker 2 (25:19): And then the other part is that she's really in this stage of betrayal blindness, right? This is where the mind goes into protective edit. And because she knows that once she acknowledges that truth, it threatens her sense of survival. It threatens her emotional and financial and family status. It threatens everything, everything.

Speaker 2 (25:40): And these are actually stages that were coined by Doctor. Jennifer, where she talks about betrayal blindness and how it, how as humans, we really work really super hard to suppress any awareness of betrayal because the outcome of it is just too hard to deal with. You know? And I, I have to think that that's where she is. I have to think that that's where she is right now.

Speaker 2 (26:06): And I have to think that deep down inside, she really knows it's off. She really feels probably that he is probably doing these things, but it's just too much to admit. And to admit it would be like, oh my God, he duped me again.

Speaker 1 (26:20): It's true. Oh my God. You stated that so perfectly, and I think all of our divorced audience members are going through or have been through, like me and Elle, we both were divorcees, that hits home. And a lot of the times, the stages aren't even linear. It doesn't necessarily have to be a one, two, three, four because you could be in denial, and then you could hit shock and then you could hit anger.

Speaker 1 (26:52): Yes. And you know what's crazy is the last step is acceptance, but you can accept that it's happening, but then be angry. Like there's not really one right way, you know?

Speaker 2 (27:05): Yeah. And there's so many, you know, theoretical models out there to describe this At the core of it, it is a relationship between grief and loss. I'm sorry. At its core, it very much mimics the stages of grief, you know, because and infidelity is the death of a relationship. So it's kind of like the same thing.

Speaker 2 (27:36): It's very much, there's very much parody in that, in other words. So I walked away from this episode feeling so sad for her.

Unknown Speaker (27:46): Yeah, me too.

Speaker 2 (27:47): And even sadder that this is coming out on television and she doesn't have the autonomy or the freedom to deal with this in private. Now we're all watching.

Speaker 1 (28:00): I feel that has a lot to do, believe it or not, with her denial. I think the audience it's I think it's easy for us as an audience of reality TV to just take things at face value and say, well, you're not a strong woman because you didn't leave your husband that cheated on you. But at the end of the day, is a single mom with three children better? Like, cause that society looks down on single mothers as well.

Unknown Speaker (28:33): Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:33): So it's like a pick your poison, pick, pick what people are gonna look down on you for because it's gonna be one.

Speaker 2 (28:42): Yeah. And I think at some point you have to, you know, if she can, this stage that she's in is this betrayal blindness, right? And she probably senses that there's betrayal, but she's blind to it. And this is the stage where your friends, and in this case, Joellen, get so frustrated because they're saying to themselves, how can you not see this? But she literally can't see it because there's this cognitive dissonance going on and she will not allow herself to see it.

Speaker 2 (29:12): And so her mind has kind of decided, well, seeing this is going to cost me more than not seeing it. Seeing this is going to cost me, to your point, the status with my family, my friends, financial status. Seeing this is going to cost me optics. Seeing this and having to confront it is going to cost me being judged by family and friends alike in society who might, to your point may look down on me because I'm a single mother.

Unknown Speaker (29:36): And I sometimes. Some point

Speaker 2 (29:38): as women, as strong women, you gotta just, gotta just throw your hands up to people's opinions and live your best life.

Unknown Speaker (29:49): Stand in your truth.

Speaker 2 (29:50): Choose yourself. This would be the era of choosing thyself. I believe in this wholeheartedly. And so even though choosing herself in an ideal world, even though choosing herself may cost her, judgment, financial loss and all of the things. And I believe she can get anything she wants if this is the case, but it might cost her that choosing herself in this moment would add years to her life.

Speaker 2 (30:19): It would, it would be, she'd be an instant role model for audiences who are watching and tuning into the show, probably dealing with some of the very same things. And she would be supported, you know, by her friends. So she would not be alone, but it is so hard to get to that stage and marriage as a status symbol, like means so much to people. It is, it's literally the death. It's also the death of a marriage, but it's also the death of your identity as a wife.

Speaker 2 (30:45): And so it's a lot to give up. It's a lot to turn it. It's a lot to open your eyes to that without experiencing some kind of loss, you know?

Speaker 1 (30:53): And there are so many internal reasons why women don't leave their husbands. And I just wanna apply to the audience again, like implore to you guys. Let's not judge. Let's not look down on women who don't leave their husbands because I didn't the first time when I was married the first time, I didn't leave on the first cheating. I got married after the first cheating, actually.

Speaker 1 (31:19): And I'll never forget, one of his friends was like, so you took him back? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, damn, like just so much disappointment.

Speaker 2 (31:30): Well, and I think also, you know, just based on what I know about you, you have an incredibly hope and belief about people and sometimes we have this incredible hope and belief about people. You're welcome.

Speaker 1 (31:41): I'm a hopeless romantic and that's part of the problem.

Speaker 2 (31:45): You put incredible hope and benefit of the doubt in people and thinking that they're going to change, you know, and my, I'm very much the same way. I think, you know, my mother is very strong in her opinion and, you know, really nudged me to choose myself.

Speaker 1 (32:09): Yeah. It is about how you're raised. I'll tell Yeah. You I think Rula, one of two things might've happened with her. I think she either saw a perfect marriage and doesn't ever want to get divorced because she feels like, oh my God, my parents were married for sixty years.

Speaker 1 (32:28): How can I start over? It's not going to be the Oh, scary. It's It won't scary be a fairy tale. It'll never be the perfect fairy tale that her relationship with Brian was in. So I think she doesn't want to lose that or her parents were married for so long and the father might've had infidelity.

Speaker 1 (32:49): So it could be one or the other.

Speaker 2 (32:50): It could definitely be one or the other. I also wonder if there's what the cultural implications are given that, you know, she's Lebanese and Syrian and he's Italian. And so what are the cultural mores and values and norms as it relates to marriage? Do you stand by your man? I gotta love that she's standing by her man.

Speaker 2 (33:13): I mean, it worked for Tammy Wynette until it didn't. And I know. And her her husband loved each other to the death regardless of it all. Johnny Cash roast Johnny Cash saying I'm bringing up country folks.

Unknown Speaker (33:26): Don't know why. Oh gosh. I love it.

Speaker 2 (33:29): I don't know why I'm bringing up country singers, but there's a litany of women. I mean, look at Beyonce and Jay Z, if you want to bring it down to the R and B. How? These are women have either Jay Z and Beyonce are a corporation, but she's still standing by her man and you know, through it all. Ultimately she's got to choose her for her.

Speaker 2 (33:52): If choosing her means that I'm going stay in this marriage and I'm going to work it out and choose that, if choosing her means I've got to leave so that I can be free and start over and I'm, and I'm worth more than, you know, be playing second best to his mistress. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (34:06): Yeah. You

Speaker 2 (34:08): know, then, then choose that. So, I mean to, oh, I can't remember who said it, but I think

Speaker 3 (34:15): it was Richie that he said, he said something about mistress etiquette that was just so comical.

Unknown Speaker (34:25): I know that was true. Should be better mistress etiquette. There should be better Now, mistress etiquette for

Speaker 1 (34:34): you know, you have to make people sign NDAs, whether you're a celebrity or not clearly, If you're a doctor, you better

Speaker 2 (34:42): Or just don't get Or get just don't get married. In my hearts of hearts, the visceral of me thinks that he is cheating. That's my personal my my visceral part of me thinks that he's not done.

Speaker 1 (34:59): And I know you guys probably all think I'm crazy, but if I did a 100% think he was cheating, I would be like, F him, leave him. I just don't know. Yeah. I don't know why I don't know.

Speaker 2 (35:11): Yeah. That's, that's my visceral reaction. But apart from that, I'm also looking, I'm more concerned. I'm not concerned about him. I'm more concerned about her and just wanted to give some context.

Speaker 2 (35:24): And I'm glad you brought up the stages of grief as to why she might be delayed in her response of receiving that this could very, be a possibility. See, she hasn't even, she hasn't even acknowledged that this could be a possibility. She's going straight into denial. He's

Unknown Speaker (35:38): not Denial. Doing

Speaker 2 (35:40): Yeah. There's no way she can skip over that. You know?

Unknown Speaker (35:43): I know.

Unknown Speaker (35:44): I say, oh yeah. You know, she's she's stuck in like, but he's not cheating. He said he doesn't do it anymore. I have a tracker.

Speaker 1 (35:50): I know. I think there honestly could be like a part of her that truly doesn't believe it too. She really might be that in denial. Well, maybe she's fighting with her own brain all

Speaker 2 (36:05): the It's the internal battle, the internal courtroom.

Speaker 1 (36:09): So she's probably like, Jo Ellen, can you just leave me the F alone and let me figure this out? You know?

Speaker 2 (36:14): Yeah. She's the prosecutor and she's got the, the prosecutor and she's got the defense attorney in her brain right now. And one on one shoulder, other on the other, trying to like word out, but you know, she'll realize it. She'll get there. She'll get Whatever decision that she makes is the decision that she makes.

Speaker 2 (36:30): She's gotta make what's good for her. She's gotta choose her no matter what, whatever that is. So yeah, there we go. Another great, episode of Rhode Island. So much to, so much to uncover and unpack.

Speaker 1 (36:44): There's always so much to unpack, but we can only talk about so much. And it was a, it was a doozy, this one. It really made us both like go crazy.

Speaker 2 (36:54): A little bit. Hey, real quick, real quick. We know we like to end every episode with a quick hot take of what's happening elsewhere in the Bravo verse. Give us like the book to the recap?

Speaker 1 (37:10): So today was a really big day on Bravo, as I'm sure you've seen around Al. So first this morning on his radio show, the most like important thing on everybody's minds is Summerhouse. So Andy Cohen called Summerhouse's reunion very intense and said the leaked audio, I'm so mad, quote unquote, because so he was heading for an eye doctor appointment really in the morning. First thing in the morning, Andy finds out there's a summer house leak. He said he knew it wasn't gonna be the cast.

Speaker 1 (37:47): And he said, thank you to all the Instagram accounts who didn't say that it was the cast because he knew in his heart of hearts that it wasn't. Thesis number two turns out, we found out what it was a few hours later. It was apparently according to Bravo, a member of production. It was a production staff member. So we don't know if it's a producer.

Speaker 1 (38:12): We don't know if it's a member of production because that could be anybody under production's umbrella. Number three, Bravo and Cocktails reported today that apparently Jennifer Lawrence, Bravo superfan and mister Virgin herself, was the source in letting Bravo find out who leaked the audio, which was a member of production. And apparently, Jennifer Lawrence was that person.

Unknown Speaker (38:45): You gotta love Jennifer Lawrence.

Speaker 1 (38:47): She got involved, girl. Said, I got this.

Unknown Speaker (38:52): She's amazing.

Speaker 1 (38:53): Yes. Thank you, Jen.

Speaker 2 (38:55): No, the best thing to come out of this is that this is the first time that I've ever seen Andy really take a stand and have an ethical response. I mean, this is the first time where it's just very transparent to me that he's having an ethical response to how this cast went on this reunion and poured their hearts out, gave everything that they had only for it to be leaked, you know, and not have control of that narrative and not have any autonomy and how it was pushed out. Know, how these, how they're forget what I said. Anyway, so that was really, that was really heartwarming to see for me.

Speaker 1 (39:32): Yeah. I'm glad they found the source.

Speaker 2 (39:34): Yeah. I'm definitely looking forward to the reunion and I'm definitely, I'm definitely proud of how Andy supported the cast in this. I, I definitely.

Speaker 1 (39:42): I am too. Yeah. And I wanna say KJ made an announcement that he wouldn't risk his job. I'm reading directly from his threads. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:51): I wouldn't risk my job by leaking audio of a deeply emotional reunion. The leak wasn't me. As a black man in the public eye, I constantly feel like I'm I'm under a microscope. And then he wrote, imagine being blamed for something you didn't do. So

Speaker 2 (40:08): Absolutely. And for those of you who say, why are they bringing race into it? It's a lived experience.

Unknown Speaker (40:12): We're not.

Speaker 2 (40:13): And let's go on. You know who else I am proud of though?

Speaker 1 (40:17): Tell me.

Unknown Speaker (40:18): Michelle. Michelle from the valley. Oh,

Unknown Speaker (40:25): Yes. Okay. Do you

Unknown Speaker (40:27): want I'm to trying to make it make sense. Jesse, Doctor. Dre. Jesse, Doctor. Jesse, Doctor.

Unknown Speaker (40:36): Dre.

Speaker 1 (40:36): In terms of money, it's like Jesse, Doctor. Dre.

Unknown Speaker (40:40): I'm not even talking about money because that is like, I mean, he blows everybody out the equation. The guy that so funny, I was bumping Doctor. Dre.

Unknown Speaker (40:48): Congratulations.

Unknown Speaker (40:49): I was listening to Doctor. Dre and K Dot, the recipe, one of my favorite songs. But anyway, Jesse, Doctor. Dre, Michelle, you go girl. That's it.

Unknown Speaker (41:00): Congratulations, Michelle.

Speaker 2 (41:04): But I will say, I will say if there is any truth to the past allegations that Doctor. Dre has had about being possibly, and I'm saying possibly because I haven't dived deep into knowing whether or not he was actually convicted of this, but I know that there's allegation and chatter out there about him, being involved in some different situations where he may have been physically abusive. I, I really hope that as a 61 year old man, has moved past that. And I really hope that he elevates this woman because she deserves it. I mean, no wonder she's showing up with a smile on her face with this season.

Unknown Speaker (41:43): Her life is amazing. Three episodes life. Three consecutive episodes. We have not seen her for now once.

Speaker 1 (41:49): Happy for the tone colored beats. Like, I would do it for some beats, but no. Congratulations.

Unknown Speaker (41:57): She a seawalk on her regional air.

Speaker 1 (42:02): She's sipping on gin and juice, enjoying her life. Listen, I can only wish. Okay. We can all only wish

Unknown Speaker (42:13): Michelle from the valley.

Speaker 1 (42:15): Shout out And another quick shout out. I bet these are two people we never thought we would hear in the same sentence. Angelina Jolie, Giselle Bryant, because guess what? They're both of their daughters are sorority sisters. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (42:32): Sweet.

Unknown Speaker (42:34): They're both AKA's. Yeah. Both I

Speaker 1 (42:39): love their daughters. Both of their daughters look so innocent and just so cute. It was all good. Yeah. It was all good Bravo news this week.

Speaker 2 (42:50): Yeah. Very good Bravo news. So it is going to be a very exciting week. We've got the conclusion of summer house. We've got Atlanta tonight,

Unknown Speaker (42:59): the

Speaker 2 (43:00): valley, and then the conclusion of summer house.

Unknown Speaker (43:03): So it's a

Unknown Speaker (43:03): lot, it's a lot going on and I'm excited.

Speaker 1 (43:04): Beverly Hills, ladies of London. We've got it. We've got every show you could want recaps.

Unknown Speaker (43:12): Yes. And

Speaker 1 (43:12): write in the comments if there's another show you'd like us to talk about. Yeah. Or don't because

Unknown Speaker (43:21): we're covering too many. No. Please do. Please do because, we have two that are going away, so we've we've definitely gotta replace a 90%.

Unknown Speaker (43:30): Good point.

Unknown Speaker (43:31): Yeah. I'm thinking Southern hospitality.

Unknown Speaker (43:34): We're at reunion levels now. So Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (43:36): We're reunion levels for sure.

Unknown Speaker (43:37): Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (43:38): Always a pleasure. Always a

Speaker 1 (43:40): pleasure. Had a Sister wonderful from another mister.

Unknown Speaker (43:45): For sure. For sure. We are doing

Unknown Speaker (43:46): a good thing.

Unknown Speaker (43:46): I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I did. Thank you. Good. Good.

Speaker 2 (43:51): Yeah. Celebrating my son's birthday. We celebrated yesterday. So, but this is today. He's 30 years old.

Unknown Speaker (43:56): So it's exciting.

Unknown Speaker (43:58): So who's 30 and I'm 40.

Unknown Speaker (44:01): I know you could almost be my daughter. Ten years older than you had. You could be my daughter.

Speaker 1 (44:10): No, you have to be a young mom because that's that can't be.

Speaker 3 (44:14): Anyways. All right guys. Well, we'll see you on the other side. Bye.

Unknown Speaker (44:18): Thank you.

Speaker 3 (44:21): Bye cohost.

Unknown Speaker (44:22): Bye. Bye.

Speaker 4 (44:28): LinkedIn Hiring Pro can't predict the future, but it can help you feel confident about future hires. Because Hiring Pro combines real time insights and candidate data from the LinkedIn network with the criteria you've set for your role to deliver you a list of top fit candidates. Business es who use LinkedIn are 24% less likely to reopen a role in the next twelve months. Hire right the first time with LinkedIn Hiring Pro. Post a free job today at linkedin.com/pandora.

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